Thursday, January 20, 2011

Two Awesome Movie Reviews!

I had recently gotten four teeth pulled (ugh) and my mom let me rent some movies off of iTunse ( I do not approve dowlnoading, I was simply to lazy and in pain to go rent a movie). I got Scott Pilgrim VS. The World, Tim Burton's Corpse Bride, and the Nightmare Before Christmas.
I'm not gonig to review the Nightmare Before Christmas 'cause everybody's seen that. And if you haven't, just watch ABC around Christmas.

Corpse Bride:
I'm going to get this out of the way right now: I'm somewhat of a Tim Burton fanatic. I think he's a distracted Genius and isn't afraid to shock.
But I'd never seen Corpse Bride, a major offense  on my part, so I figured now would be the perfect time.
So the basic plot is Victor Van Dorf (Johnny Depp acing the part) is in an arranged marriage to Victoria becaus Victoria's family is broke and Victor's family.... well, I forgot. I watched it three days after the teeth in the backroom at some lame Christmas party.
So anyway, they go in for the wedding rehearsel, and Victor keeps screwing up his vows (LAWL) and Mr. Mean Priest Man (Christopher Lee in a very funny role) tells him to come back once he gets them all right. And on the way out he sets Victoria's mom's dress on fire.
So Victor goes walking through the forest, trying to get his vows right. So he comes to a clearing and says them prefectly, and slips the ring on a branch.
Only it's not a branch.
It's a beautiful dead corpse wearing a wedding dress.
Emily The Awesome Corpse Bride (Helena Bonham Carter making my mouth drop in aweful admiration) thinks Victor just proposed to her. Victor, the ever squeamish, chooses to pass out then.
And wakes up in the Underworld.
So then this awesome dead hot jazz band tells the story in song. Basically, when Emily was alive, she fell in love with this jerk who really just wanted her money. So her dad said no and then they went to go secretly get married in the woods where Victor found her, and then mr. Jerkface killed Emily and took all her money.
Here's the song that explains it all, since I'm still working out summarizing:
So basically, stuff happens and you have to go see the rest of the movie.
It's a stunning, stop-motion, well voiced, hilarious, reverse-of-the-norm musical feature that kicks butt.

Backstory!: I found this movie because one of my awesome adult friends told me I looked like Ramona Flowers...(and now that I've seen the movie, I'm flattered) and at the time I had no clue what that meant, so I asked and she told me about the movie and in my tooth induced bordom, I picked this off the top of my head (thanks Roxanne!).
So Scott Pilgrim is actually a comic book that got converted into a movie. Michal Cera and Mary Elizabeth Winstead star, as well as an awesome cast of other hilarious people.
This kind of takes place in a video game. But I'll give you plot before I explain that.
So Scott Pilgrim is in this band. They remind me of the Ramones with this awesome chick drummer named Kim (provides comic relief).
Scott used to date this girl named Envy Adams, the lead singer for now super band The Clash At Demonhead. But she broke up with him and devestated him, and he's never had a haircut or a girlfriend since. So now he's dating this highschooler (Scott's 22) named Knives who thinks hes a god or something like that.
And then he sees Ramona Flowers, super hot chick (hehehheheheheh) who dyes her hair every week and a half.
And he must try to date her. So they hook up. But everybody else is all like" SCOTT NO YOU CANT DATE HER SHeS OUT of youR LEAUGE!!" (exaaaaaaaaaaactly how I spelled it).
But he does. But then there's a problem.
Ramona has seven evil EXES who Scott has to defeat before he can date her.
You'll have to watch the movie to find out the rest, but whenever Scott defeats an evil ex, he gets gold coins and it feels like Super Mario, Zelda, Guitar Hero, and many other games combined into a movie of epic epicness.
So there's a lot I left out and you need to hear the Clash At Demonhead's version of Metric's Black Sheep (better than the original).
I gotta get some chocolate milk.


  1. Hmm....Well, I personally like Metric's version better. But Brie Larson did an awesome cover. And before watching the movie (which is awesome and it's my favorite and it was the best midnight premiere movie I had ever been to), I recommend reading the comic books....There are 6. Even if you've already seen the movie, the books are still really awesome..

  2. I'm so glad you liked the movie. It's like, the best. I noticed that you said Scott hadn't cut his hair since his break-up, well, actually, he cuts his own hair. And I think haircuts make him uncomfortable (because of Envy), and possibly that's why he freaks out whenever Ramona cuts her hair every three weeks.... :)

    I thought it was really cool how she changed her name to Envy 'cuz her initials were N.V.

  3. Thanks for pointing that out. I haven't read the comics yet but it's on my to do list.
    And Ramona DYES her hair every week and a half (or so that movie told me)