Beauty Queens by Libba Bray (Review)

You probably know Libba Bray from A Great and Terrible Beauty or Going Bovine.
When her latest offering, Beauty Queens, came out, I was more than a little  hesitant. The last book in the Gemma Doyle trilogy wasn't very good, and was a little bit too into it's message. However, the audio book was in the library, and I figured I had nothing to lose.
While the first few chapters are hilarious and a little heartbreaking, and the audio (Read by Libba Bray herself) was entertaining, it went a bit off after that.
For instance, Beauty Queens became less of a satirical play on the exaggerated behavior of the Miss Teen Dreamers, as a perky, gun-toting, Texan, named Taylor calls them and more of a sermon on why it's ok to be everything you want to be, unless it's a Christian. Or a Republican.
For instance, Petra, Miss Rhode Island, is actually J.T. Woodland from Boyz Will B Boyz, Bray's fictional take on everyone's childhood boy band. He/She has decided to get a sex change and is in the middle of taking hormones and was going to use the pageant money to get the surgery done.
Look, I don't care if you're character is LGBTQ  (Example: I loved John Green's/David Leviathan's Will Grayson, Will Grayson). I don't agree but if it's a good book, I'm not going to put it down.  But it's when the characters get preachy that it starts to make me uncomfortable. Libba Bray isn't so much writing a satire on brainless beauty queens as pushing her political agenda. And again, you've got your own political views, that's your view, not mine. But it's when you start shoving it down my throat that I'm not going to deal with it. And while I do agree with some of the points Libba makes in the book (Girl shouldn't be sorry about having an opinion, beauty pageants are demeaning in a lot ways, pageants parents are even more demeaning), but it felt so hypocritical and  in your face that I couldn't deal with it.
Also, even the feminist-to-a-fault Adeena throws that to the wind when TV show pirates show up on the Island. Then everyone starts having explosive sex or whatever. Honestly, I didn't finish the book and looked up reviews to gather what happens.
Altogether, this one is a mess in a pageant dress.

-Randi

Why 3-D Bothers Me

Let me tell you a lovely little story of a girl who likes movies. A lot.
This girl also gets sick in 3-D movies because it makes her dizzy.
The girl's family took her to see Hugo with her younger sister. She wanted to see the movie more than she wanted to see the next episode of Doctor Who, which is saying something, I can assure you.
Unluckily, the girl's family forgot about her getting sick in 3-D movies and bought very very expensive tickets to the 3-D version.
The girl had to sit there in the theater and listen to the movie, because she couldn't look at the screen for fear of vomiting all over her boots.
And of course, this all happened to me.
And I was very upset.
But here's the thing: Why is everything in 3-D? People ask me this question a lot when they hear me go on about the brilliance of Aaron Sorkin and stuff like that.
And here's the answer:
Do you all remember Avatar? Not the airbenders, the blue people. The movie sucked. But anyway, do you remember when the 3-D trend started? Well, if you don't, the whole reason we're in this mess is because of Avatar.
I think the main reason why 3-D is so popular is not because it "enhances the movie" (I've seen more than a fair share of movies in 2-D that I could tell had no effects that would pop off the screen. I'm looking at you Pirates 4 and Dawn Treader).  It's a money thing. Like I said, I saw the grand total on the  Hugo tickets, and it was about fifty bucks for four people to go see a 3-D movie.
So Hollywood, can we end this? Please? For my sake and many others?

-Randi

Golden Globe Predictions

So the Golden Globes are mostly a joke in my mind. I don't know what it is about them, but they don't impress me. Like last year, The Tourist, which I'll admit I didn't see but didn't think would be any good either, made their best picture list. It was a questionable decision either way. But anyway,  here's some predictions I have. Oh, and I haven't seen a lot of these movies so I'm merely predicting based on a lot of opinions I gathered from fellow film enthusiasts.

Best Motion Picture - Drama
The Descendants
The Help
Hugo
The Ides Of March
Moneyball
War Horse

What I want to Win: The Help, simply because the film drove me to tears and it was actually good. Maybe even better then the book, I'm not sure yet.
What will end up winning:  Eh, probably Huge, Moneyball, or War Horse.
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Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama
Glenn Close – Albert Nobbs
Viola Davis – The Help
Rooney Mara – The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
Meryl Streep – Iron Lady
Tilda Swinton – We Need To Talk About Kevin


Who I want to win: Viola Davis who was the only one of I saw out of the bunch.
Who will end up winning: I think Viola David has a good shot, but I heard Rooney Mara was good playing the messed up Lisbeth Salander in the equally messed up Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.


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Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama
George Clooney – The Descendants
Leonardo DiCaprio – J. Edgar
Michael Fassbender – Shame
Ryan Gosling – The Ides Of March
Brad Pitt – Moneyball


Who I want to win: Brad Pitt, because Moneyball is honestly the only movie I wanted to see out of this (because of Aaron Sorkin writing the script).
Who will win: Michael Fassbender or Brad Pitt.


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Best Motion Picture - Comedy Or Musical
50/50
The Artist
Bridesmaids
Midnight In Paris
My Week With Marilyn

(How is The Artist, a silent film, a musical?)

What I want to win: This is a hard one. I'll have to go with My Week With Marilyn though. Because I actually might see it.
Who will win: 50/50, The Artist, or Midnight in Paris.

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Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Comedy Or Musical
Jodie Foster – Carnage
Charlize Theron – Young Adult
Kristen Wiig – Bridesmaids
Michelle Williams – My Week With Marilyn
Kate Winslet – Carnage


Who I want to win:  Charlize Theron, because if Diablo Cody trusts her, I trust her. Or Michelle Williams because I might actually see my week with  Marilyn, plus, I've heard her performance is spot on.
Who will win: Kristen Wiig (whom I love, but I didn't see Bridesmaids) or Carlize Thereon.


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Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Comedy Or Musical
Jean Dujardin – The Artist
Brendan Gleeson – The Guard
Joseph Gordon-Levitt – 50/50
Ryan Gosling – Crazy, Stupid, Love.
Owen Wilson – Midnight In Paris


Who I want to win: Joseph Gordon-Levitt without a doubt.
Who will win: Jean Dujardin, whom I wouldn't mind winning at all, or Ryan Gosling, because his abs could persuade anyone to vote for anything. Fangirl moment over.
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 Best Foreign Language Film
The Flowers Of War (China)
In The Land Of Blood And Honey (United States)
The Kid With A Bike (Belgium)
A Separation (Iran)
The Skin I Live In (Spain)


I didn't see any of these films, and the only one I even know anything about is The Skin I Live In, so my money is on that one.

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Best Performance by an Actress In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Berenice Bejo – The Artist
Jessica Chastain – The Help
Janet McTeer – Albert Nobbs
Octavia Spencer – The Help
Shailene Woodley – The Descendants

Who I want to win: Jessica Chastain or Berenice Bejo. 

Who will end up winning: Berenice Bejo

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Best Performance by an Actor In A Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Kenneth Branagh – My Week With Marilyn
Albert Brooks – Drive
Jonah Hill – Moneyball
Viggo Mortensen – A Dangerous Method
Christopher Plummer – Beginners

Who I want to win: This is weird, because out of the five films, I could honestly live with all of them, but I honestly love Jonah Hill, so maybe he'll just make it.

Who will end up winning: Kenneth Branagh, which again, I'm ok with.

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Best Director - Motion Picture
Woody Allen – Midnight In Paris
George Clooney – The Ides Of March
Michel Hazanavicius – The Artist
Alexander Payne – The Descendants
Martin Scorsese – Hugo

Who I want to win: Michel Hazanavicius, because he had the guts to put out a silent film in 2011

Who will end up winning: Martin Scorsese, which is fine by me, because I had to sit in a theater and LISTEN (long story) to Hugo and I still liked it.

Who do you think is gonna win stuff? Let me know.

-Randi

Sherlock

I'm fairly sure I've made it apparent by now that I'm obsessed with England/Britain/The UK/whatever you want to call it.
So it shouldn't come as a surprise that I completely love BBC's miniseries Sherlock.
It's just what you think it is: An updated take on Sherlock Holmes set in the modern day for the modern audience. But the best part is that is so much more.
Sherlock is by far the most intricately plotted crime show I've ever seen. Whereas you could sit down and deconstruct an episode of CSI by the second commercial break, Sherlock constantly keeps you guessing and glued in place. There's only three episodes in the one existing season, but each one is superbly done and riveting.
The Victorian style of the original book is gone, and there's not even a steampunk aesthetic like I thought (that would be cool). It's like Criminal Minds and Bones moved to England, had a super smart baby, and watched as it became so much smarter than either of them.
Playing the lead role in Sherlock is Benedict Cumberbatch, who nails it. Sherlock is dark, moody, and a "high functioning sociopath". He's a wizard with a smartphone and a blog and is a fascinating character.
Martin Freeman stars opposite as John Watson, a war vet back in England after sustaining an "injury" (side note: He's also playing Bilbo in the Hobbit). He ends up rooming in Sherlock's flat (Still  221B Baker Street, no worries) and tags along to the crime scenes. Watson also has a blog prescribed by his therapist, where he writes up all of the misadventures.
While this is a crime  show, it's not nearly as trashy as anything in America. No boobs, no sex, nothing objectionable. I wouldn't call it family friendly but it's as close as a show with a body count could be.
The next season of Sherlock starts on January 1.

-Randi

In Which I Question Female Superhero Outfitting

Hi everyone :) So today, after a few action movies, I have written a post I've been meaning to do for a while on action heroes and their clothes.
Superficial? A little, but stick with me here.
I've noticed some things when I stroll down the action movie aisles lately. All the "Female empowerment" films with women in their title roles taking names and kicking butt are dressed like sluts (Did you like my little un-intentional rhyme there?). Halle's Catwoman (which flopped anyway), the aforementioned Sucker Punch fiasco, more recently Columbiana, etc.
First of all, it doesn't even make sense to be a slutty superwoman simply for the fact that  it's not good gear for combat. I wouldn't want  a lot of bare skin if bullets were flying at me! You'd want the standard catsuit (Michelle Pfeiffer) but bulletproof, waterproof, flameproof, and no heels on the boots.
It honestly bothers me that directors try to market more towards boys than the girls that film was supposedly made for. It doesn't win over too many people, besides middle school boys with too much money and time. I know more girls who didn't go see the aforementioned movies because of all the boobs and butts. But maybe that's just the crowd I know.


-Randi

Random Quiz From Tumblr.

Yep, I'm on the Tumblr now (all the time). Here's a random quiz I found so as for you all to know me better.

1. What was the last movie you watched? It was either Hanna or Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

2. The last noteworthy thing you did? Started recording a song with my brother. Or held a door open for an old lady. I suppose that's noteworthy to her, right?

3. Last book you read? All the way through would be Lost Voices by Sarah Porter (mermaids, singing, competition, cool world building, and all that other stuff). Last book that I just randomly read was Julie and Julia.

4.  Last thing you felt guilty about? I recently bought Sucker Punch, a movie I've blogged about before, and it made my mom really uncomfortable because of the movie cover and how they were dressed, which I completely understand.. I actually threw it away a couple weeks ago. I also had issues with the way it was marketed. When I saw the film on Red Box, it was cool, but they used a slutty dream sequence for the cover of the DVD, and it really made me question to whom the film was aimed towards; Middle school boys or girls? So yeah, not the best purchase I've made. Mom, if you're reading this, sorry about that.

5. Last thing that scared you? It was either a horror movie TV spot or my cat trying to kill me.

6. Something you still wonder about? Mermaid anatomy. How do they go to the bathroom or whatever? Stupid, I know.

7. Last album you listened to? The Slytherin EP by Oliver Boyd and the Remembralls.

8. What is something you're proud of? My musical skillz. I got 'em. Music is one of the things I'm really good at.

9. Name one friend of yours? The Diabolical Diabetic. We watch actions movies together and scare people at Target.

10. Last question. What do you want for Christmas? It's a long list, but a TARDIS with the Doctor, a hippo, the Weasley twins, Dobby, and some good movies.

Thanks for reading this stupidity. I swear the next post will be about something more serious.

-Randi

7 Things That Irk Me In The Twilight Saga.

As I was looking through my local events paper this morning (no good bands coming here, no good movies coming out this weekend) there was a cut out poster for the new Premiere of Breaking Dawn part 1 featuring Edward and Bella pretty much naked and wrapped around each other as per usual. My mum and I both flinched.
"Part 1. How original." I snickered.
In honor of the new Twilight movie (honor isn't the right word, but craptastic didn't fit my flow of words), I have to admit something very shameful I did around a year ago.
I read every single last page of the Twilight Saga. No joke. And almost barfed when I finished, 'cause that stuff is ridiculous, disturbing, wrong, and poorly written.
So Here's 8 reasons why it's disturbing in no particular order.
NOTE: This isn't hating on Twilight fans (only the crazy ones who throw things at you if you don't like them. I've met some of those). Just the horridness that is Twilight.
Some of these are for the books, some of these are based from the movies.

1. The Vampire mythology is all wrong. Vampires don't sparkle, they aren't fairy princesses. They also by nature don't want to spend their life in high school over and over as Edward does. That's wasting your stupid immortal life. And boring. All the time in the world and you picked to go to school? That's just messed up.
2. The acting in the films is some of the worst I've seen. The first movie was on FX the other day (I was going to see if Wilfred was on) and I burst out laughing a couple times at the stupidity of the screenplay, the acting, and reminding myself I read this piece of work. Kristen Stewart has no emotion what so ever, and couldn't convince me of anything she was saying. Robert Pattinson is particularly wooden and there's really nobody else in the film to alleviate any of this. That one Taylor kid shows up twice, and he's here just to show off his six pack (which I will admit is kind of hot, but no me gusta).
3. Edward and Bella's relationship is....disturbing. He watches her while she sleeps. He stalks her everywhere because he "just knows" that she's going to get in trouble. I just can't stand to think of anyone I ever date watching me sleep. It's completely wrong. And yet, girls are all "EDWARD IS THE HOTTEST AND SWEETEST AND KINDEST AND MOST CONSIDERATE VAMP EVA OMGZ". Not really.
4. Bella has issues. She can't do anything without Edward, tries to kill herself when he leaves her "for her own good" or something like that doesn't make sense, and she literally only cares about her precious fairy boy friend. The only person who exceeds Bella's level of obsession with Edward is Edward's obsession over Bella. She was not fun to read about, she annoyed the living life out of me, and was depressing in all ways possible.
5. When Bella has her demon baby, it grows up really fast because Stephanie Meyer is a cop out and Jacob starts to be in love with it or something. It's disturbing. I constantly wish I'd never read these stupid books, but I really really really wish I'd never thought to pick up Breaking Dawn. Ugh.
6. If there's one thing that was only mildly bothersome while reading the books, it's that Bella's dad isn't in the picture. At all. She has no parental guidance and it shows. That's unrealistic to me. Parents are never not involved when their kids fall in love with sketchy vampires. It was like Stephanie Meyer just said "I hate parental guidance, but I don't want to kill them, so let's just have all the parents be super spaced out." Not particularly sure why this bothers me so much, but it does.
7.Every single time I walk into a bookstore, there is some girl wearing a "Bite Me" shirt browsing in the young adult section for RPatz posters. She'll see me and smile ravenously, bounce up to where I'm picking my latest escapes and ask with much enthusiasm "Don't you just love Twilight?" and smile in anticipation of the imaginary fangirling we're about to do.
"No, I found them disgusting." I mumble and wonder where they put the Neil Gaiman books.
She will then promptly insult me and bounce away, off to pay for her hundreds of dollars in merchandise.
I can't do into a book store without this happening. No joke. It sucks. Yes, I know, not completely related, but close enough.

So what I'm really trying to say is.........
1. These books are disgusting.
2. These movies are horrid.
3.....


HARRY POTTA FO'EVA!

-Randi